A scarily easy guide to networking 👻 How to stop making these three horrifying 🧟 mistakes!

It’s not what you know, it’s who you know. 

That used to be the golden rule of getting a job. 

Who cared about your strengths and experience when you were Bob’s kid? 

And why bother writing a CV when your neighbour was the company CEO? 

Fortunately, now, we have slightly more rigorous hiring processes.

Although ‘slightly’ might be quite an understatement. 

We’ve heard of processes with up to, and over, ten separate steps. 

From written applications and EQ tests to video CVs and entrance exams our hiring processes clearly show that it’s WHAT you know that now reigns supreme. 

Or does it? 

If the hoops we jump through are all about assessing our aptitude for work, why is it that up to as many as 80%* of jobs are still filled by networking? 

Try as companies might to refine their hiring systems to the nth degree, one simple truth remains. 

People hire people. 

This means the connections we build with those around us can have a huge impact on your job search. 

But usually just the suggestion of the word ‘networking’ is enough to send cold shivers down most people’s spines. 

So we wanted to blow away the cobwebs of networking and show you how to make it much less scary and avoid making three mortifying mistakes. 

Mistake One: Using networking to ask if there are any jobs 

How do you define networking? 

The Oxford definition is -  the action or process of interacting with others to exchange information and develop professional or social contacts.

In short, networking is about getting to know people. 

It is NOT about asking someone for a job. 

This is a common misunderstanding which people tend to make and (unscientifically) accounts for 99% of why we feel so uncomfortable going into networking situations. 

Too often the intention of networking is to come out with an interview offer, or even a job (don’t tell us you’ve not had that dream!). 

But this puts a huge amount of pressure on the conversation. 

You feel you need to prove yourself or show your value - when what you should really be doing is getting curious!

Once you’ve established a relationship with someone, then you can explore what it might take for someone like you to work at their company or do what they do. 

Think about it like dating. 

Would you propose on the first date? 

No, so when you ask someone for a ‘virtual coffee’ do just that and use it as an opportunity to learn. 

Remember, networking is about building relationships, not about asking for jobs. 

So focus on being more interested and less interesting. 

Which leads us to our next tip. 

Mistake Two: Not following your genuine interests 

Another networking mistake we often see is not connecting with the right people.

Often we just increase our circles in the area we work in now, without really thinking about who we’d like to get to know for our futures.  

This means we see the same updates on LinkedIn, the same news about the same industry that we’re not actually interested in anymore. 

So this is your call to broaden your horizons and follow your heart! 

Ask yourself this? 

Who do you really find interesting? 

Who would you really love to learn more from? 

Who has done something you really admire? 

Who do you think is just great at their job? 

If you are genuinely interested it will show.  

It will also make reaching out and starting a conversation much easier because you’ll already feel like you know them. 

This will help you feel confident and make them feel at ease. The perfect recipe for an open and curious conversation. 

Mistake Three: Ignoring your current network 

Now you might be thinking, ‘but you just said to diversify my network!’ - bare with us! 

With most of our networking taking place online, it’s easier than ever to get connected but making a genuine connection is much harder. 

The separation of the screen is both a gift and a curse. 

We may have a connection at the push of the button, but between our fingers and the button is a whole host of blockers and limiting thoughts. 

When we reach out to someone cold we may have low expectations, but when there’s no response the deflation is still very real. 

This is why it’s so important to use the network you already have. 

We all know people, and they all know people (there are only six degrees of separation, right?) so don’t discount them. 

If you can see that someone you’re interested in getting to talk to is connected to someone you know, ask that person to introduce you! 

And before your brain goes into ‘I don’t want to disturb them’, ‘we haven’t spoken in x months’, ‘what if they don’t reply either’. 

Just think, what you would do in that same situation? 

Most people love helping other people. Remember this! 

Now, ask for that intro and you never know you might be able to offer one in return too. 

Last word from us - Have fun! 

There is no right way to network and each network will look different. 

Maybe it’s on social media, maybe it’s the conference circuit or maybe you’re a local hero. You never know where your next amazing connection will come from. 

So, what job have you been looking at on the Escape the City jobs board? Why not try finding someone to connect to at that company and start up a conversation? 

If networking still feels like a mystery or this has thrown up some questions. Flo Coaching is launching her first group coaching programme in January 2024. For women in their 20s and 30s looking to find clarity, confidence and control in their careers. Find out more here. 

*80% taken from this Forbes article. There has been some debate around this figure but research still indicates a high proportion of roles get filled by connection and recomendation. Further research also shows that a shocking number of jobs are never published. Meaning the only way to find out about them is through your network.