Overachiever burnout?

Hermione Granger was the perfect student. 

Always going above and beyond. 

Always prepared, polite and punctual. 

Always handing in homework on time. 

Always level-headed and logical. 

That is, until book three. She cracks under the pressure of trying to literally be in multiple places at once with the use of a ‘time turner’. 

In her bid to take as many classes as she can, Hermione uses a magical device to bend time and make it to multiple lessons at once. 

The overachievers dream: being in multiple places at once - imagine what you could get done…

Well, be careful what you wish for.

For Hermione, the pressure of reaching so high leads to a full-scale meltdown, shouting at a teacher and storming out of class…not perfect student behaviour. 

Even if you’re not a Harry Potter nerd like me, I’m sure you knew a Hermione at school, or maybe you were Hermione (I certainly was!). 

Hermionie is the archetypal overachiever and, like so many overachievers, uses her ability to work harder to excel, she’s praised for it and encouraged, but what it eventually leads to is total burnout. 

And this is because overachieving isn’t the strength we often perceive it to be. 

It’s a saboteur and a sneaky one at that. 

Overachieving has the capacity to lull us into a false sense of security serving us well until one day we wake up and our energy, passion and perseverance are completely sapped. 

And when that day comes, it hits hard! 

Overachieving burnout looks a little something like this:

• Complete apathy for the job you’re doing now (even if it was the dream job to start with) 
• Loss of direction and purpose 
• Inability to recognise strengths and successes 
• Massive imposter syndrome 
• Zero boundaries 
• Huge fear of failure 

Notice anything there you recognise in yourself or someone you know? 

We hope not, but if you do we’re here to tell you it does not have to be like this. 

You can tame this saboteur and bring back the energy, excitement and motivation in your life. 

Here’s where to start. 

Raising Self-Awareness 

The first place to start whenever you’re looking for change in your life is to look inward. 

As a coach, our philosophy is that all the answers are always already inside. This quote from Sheryl Sandberg describes the power of self-awareness perfectly, she says: 

We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.

So just recognising the role that overachieving plays in your life is an essential first step. 

Consider these questions: 

• Where does overachieving play the biggest part in your life (note - it might not be your career, it could be in your friendships, parenting or comparisons)? 

• How does overachieving currently serve you? 

• What would you be free to do if you let go of your overachiever? 

• What are you fearful will happen if you let go of your overachiever? 

Moving from a Fixed to Growth Mindset

The thing the overachiever is most scared of is failure. 

Because a huge amount of self-worth for an overachiever comes from their ability to produce successful results and be validated for them. 

Failure is the opposite of this. This is also a huge problem for perfectionists (watch this space for another article on this savage saboteur!) 

The main problem with this is that overachievers will often shy away from things that might lead to ‘failure’ or things they’re not 100% sure they’ll be amazing at. 

This phenomenon is what psychologist Carol Dweck calls the Fixed Mindset. 

The Fixed Mindset is the belief that skills and strengths are innate. For example, someone with a Fixed Mindset would believe that you’re either artistic or you’re not. 

However, not all people think like this. Dweck also discovered another mindset that thinks very differently, the Growth Mindset. 

In the Growth Mindset, you believe that there is always the capacity to learn and develop skills. So someone that is not ‘good’ at art, with learning and practice could become so. 

Developing a Growth Mindset is an incredibly useful tool to fight against your overachieving saboteur. 

Here are three ways you can start to build your Growth Mindset: 

1. Adopt a beginner's mindset to lead to growth. You don’t tell a baby off for not being able to walk on day one. You encourage and support them as they learn and grow. Use this when you start a new task, project or hobby and enjoy the journey. 
2. Find small ways to fail. Pushing the boundaries of your comfort zone is an amazing way to grow your resilience and Growth Mindset. Purposefully do things you’re not good at and have fun with them! Take singing lessons, start drawing or try a new recipe. It doesn’t matter if you ‘fail’ you’ll have learnt something. 
3. View all experiences as an opportunity to learn. A love of learning takes the wind out of the sails of the saboteur, because if you’re just happy to be on the journey you don’t need to be obsessed about the destination. 

Share! 

Overachievers don’t like to dwell on the negative and they certainly don’t like to let on when things are hard. Again, this feeds into the feeling of failure which we discussed above. 

When an overachiever doesn’t feel like they’re where they ought to be, it can be the hardest thing to seek help, especially from our close friends and colleagues. 

There are the shoulds:

• I should be able to cope 
• I should be better 
• I should try harder 

And the assumptions:

• They’re relying on me 
• They’ll be so disappointed 
• They’ll see through me 

But these negative thoughts are what feed the saboteur. 

To find freedom from negative voices, nothing is more effective than sharing. 

As a coach, I know the huge power of saying things aloud. 

Just the other day a client shared one of their biggest fears and when they said it to me and I repeated it back to them they burst out laughing because it sounded so silly. 

The old saying stands true, a problem shared is a problem halved so book in a cuppa with one of your supporters and open up. 

We hope this has been helpful in helping you start to tackle your overachiever saboteur. 

If you’re still looking for some more support, reach out to Flo Coaching to book in a free 15-minute consultation to see how she can help. Or sign up to her latest programme more info here. 

And if work is triggering your overachiever and you’re looking to make a change, check out the latest jobs we have available on our Jobs Board. Happy Searching!